Scene 6 - The Millers

	Here enters the Water Miller, and the Ranger goes out.

	Water Miller
	What the Devil should skill though all the world were dumb,
	Since in all our speaking we never be heard.
	We cry out for rain, the Devil sped drop will cum.
445	We water millers be nothing in regard.

	No water have we to grind at any stint.
	The wind is so strong the rain can not fall,
	Which keepeth our milldams as dry as a flint.
	We are undone, we grind nothing at all.

450	The greater is the pity, as thinketh me,
	For what availeth to each man his corn,
	Till it be ground by such men as we be?
	Theirs is the loss if we be forborne.

	For, touching our selves, we are but drudges
455	And very beggars, save only our toll,
	Which is right small, and yet many grudges
	For grist of a bushel to give a quart bowl.

	Yet, were not reparations, we might do well:
	Our millstones, our wheel with her cogs, and our trundle,
460	Our floodgate, our mill-pool, our water wheel,
	Our hopper, our extre, our iron spindle.

	In this and much more so great is our charge,
	That we would not reck though no water were,
	Save only it toucheth each man so large,
465	And each for our neighbour Christ biddeth us care.

	Wherefore my conscience hath pricked me hither,
	In this to sue, according to the cry,
	For plenty of rain to the god Jupiter,
	To whose presence I will go even boldly.

	Merry Report
470	Sir, I doubt nothing your audacity,
	But I fear me ye lack capacity,
	For, if ye were wise, ye might well espy
	How rudely ye err from rules of courtesy.
	What, ye come in revelling and rioting,
475	Even as a knave might go to a bear baiting!

	Water Miller
	[To the audience] All you bear record what favour I have.
	Hark how familiarly he calleth me knave.
	Doubtless the gentleman is universal,
	But mark this lesson, sir, you should never call
480	Your fellow knave nor your brother whoreson,
	For nought can ye get by it when ye have done.

	Merry Report
	Thou art nuther brother nor fellow to me,
	For I am god's servant: mayst thou not see?
	Would ye presume to speak with the great god?
485	Nay, discretion and you be to far odd.
	Byr Lady, these knaves must be tied shorter.
	Sir, who let you in, spake ye with the porter?

	Water Miller
	Nay, by my troth, nor with no nuther man,
	Yet I saw you well when I first began.
490	How be it, so help me God and holydam,
	I took you but for a knave as I am.
	But marry, now, since I know what ye be,
	I must and will obey your authority,
	And if I may not speak with Jupiter
495	I beseech you be my solicitor.

	Merry Report
	As in that I will be your well willer.
	I perceive you be a water miller,
	And your whole desire, as I take the mater,
	Is plenty of rain for increase of water,
500	The let whereof, ye affirm determinately
	Is only the wind, your mortal enemy.

	Water Miller.
	Troth it is, for it bloweth so aloft
	We never have rain, or at the most not oft.
	Wherefore I pray you, put the god in mind,
505	Clearly for ever to banish the wind.

	Enters the Wind Miller

	Wind Miller
	How? Is all the weather gone or I come?
	For the Passion of God, help me to some!
	I am a wind miller as many mo be;
	No wretch in wretchedness so wretched as we!
510	The whole sort of my craft be all marred at once,
	The wind is so weak it stirreth not our stones,
	Nor scantly can shatter the shitten sail
	That hangeth shattering at a woman’s tail.
	The rain never resteth, so long be the showers
515	From time of beginning till four and twenty hours,
	And end when it shall, at night or at noon,
	An other beginneth as soon as that is done
	Such revel of rain ye know well enough
	Destroyeth the wind, be it never so rough;
520	Whereby, since our mills be come to still standing,
	Now may we wind millers go even to hanging.
	A miller? With a murain and a mischief!
	Who would be a miller? As good be a thief!
	Yet in time past when grinding was plenty
525	Who were so like God's fellows as we?
	As fast as God made corn, we millers made meal.
	Which might be best forborne for common weal?
	But let that gear pass! For I fear our pride
	Is cause of the care which God doth us provide,
530	Wherefore I submit me, intending to see
	What comfort may come by humility.
	And now, at this time, they said in the cry
	The god is come down to shape remedy.

	Merry Report
	No doubt he is here even in yonder throne.
535	But in your matter he trusteth me alone,
	Wherein I do perceive by your complaint
	Oppression of rain doth make the wind so faint
	That ye wind millers be clean cast away.

	Wind Miller
	If Jupiter help not, it is as ye say.
540	But in few words to tell you my mind round,
	Upon this condition I would be bound
	Day by day to say Our Lady’s Psalter:
	That in this world were no drop of water
	Nor never rain, but wind continual,
545	Then should we wind millers be lords over all.

	Merry Report
	Come on and assay how you twain can agree;
	A brother of yours, a miller as ye be.

	Water Miller
	By mean of our craft we may be brothers,
	But whiles we live shall we never be lovers.
550	We be of one craft but not of one kind:
	I live by water and he by the wind.

	Here Merry Report goth out.

	And, sir, as ye desire wind continual,
	So would I have rain ever more to fall,
	Which two in experience right well ye see
555	Right seldom or never together can be.
	For as long as the wind ruleth, it is plain,
	Twenty to one ye get no drop of rain;
	And when the element is too far oppressed,
	Down commeth the rain and setteth the wind at rest.
560	By this ye see we can not both obtain,
	For ye must lack wind or I must lack rain.
	Wherefore I think good, before this audience,
	Each for our self to say or we go hence.
	And whom is thought weakest when we have finished,
565	Leave off his suit and content to be banished.

	Wind Miller
	In faith, agreed. But then, by your license,
	Our mills for a time shall hang in suspense.
	Since water and wind is chiefly our suit
	Which best may be spared we will first dispute.
570	Wherefore to the sea my reason shall resort
	Where ships by mean of wind try from port to port,
	From land to land, in distance many a mile.
	Great is the passage and small is the while.
	So great is the profit, as to me doth seem,
575	That no mans wisdom the wealth can esteem.
	And since the wind is conveyer of all,
	Who but the wind should have thank above all?

	Water Miller
	Admit in this place a tree here to grow
	And thereat the wind in great rage to blow;
580	When it hath all blowen, this is a clear case,
	The tree removeth no hair breadth from his place.
	No more would the ships, blow the best it could,
	Although it would blow down both mast and shroud.
	Except the ship fleet (was floating) upon the water,
585	The wind can right nought do: a plain matter.
	Yet may ye on water, without any wind,
	Row forth your vessel where men will have her send.
	Nothing more rejoiceth the mariner
	Than mean cools of wind and plenty of water,
590	For commonly the cause of every wrack
	Is excess of wind where water doth lack.
	In rage of these storms the peril is such,
	That better were no wind then so far to much.

	Wind Miller
	Well, if my reason in this may not stand,
595	I will forsake the sea and leap to land.
	In every church where god’s service is,
	The organs bear brunt of half the choir, iwis.
	Which causeth the sound: or water or wind?
	More-over, for wind this thing I find:
600	For the most part, all manner minstrelsy,
	By wind they deliver their sound chiefly.
	Fill me a bagpipe of your water full:
	As sweetly shall it sound as it were stuffed with wool!

	Water Miller
	On my faith, I think the moon be at the full,
605	For frantic fancies be then most plentiful,
	Which are at the pride of their spring in your head,
	So far from our matter he is now fled.
	As for the wind in any instrument,
	It is no parcel of our argument.
610	We spake of wind that cometh naturally,
	And that is wind forced artificially,
	Which is not to purpose. But, if it were,
	And water indeed right nought could do there,
	Yet I think organs no such commodity
615	Whereby the water should banished be.
	And for your bagpipes, I take them as nyfuls.
	Your matter is all in fancies and trifles.

	Wind Miller
	By God, but ye shall not trifle me off so!
	If these things serve not, I will rehearse more.
620	And now to mind there is one old proverb come;
	‘One bushel of March dust is worth a king’s ransom.’
	What is a hundred thousand bushels worth then?

	Water Miller
	Not one mite, for the thing self, to no man.

	Wind Miller
	Why, shall wind every where thus be object?
625	Nay, in the high ways he shall take effect,
	Where as the rain doth never good but hurt.
	For wind maketh but dust, and water maketh dirt.
	Powder or syrup, sirs, which like/lick ye best?
	Who liketh not the one may lick up the rest.
630	But, sure, who so ever hath assayed such sips,
	Had lever have dusty eyes then dirty lips.
	And it is said since afore we were borne,
	That drought doth never make dearth of corn.
	And well it is known to the most fool here,
635	How rain hath priced corn within this seven year.

	Water Miller
	Sir, I pray thee, spare me a little season
	And I shall briefly conclude thee with reason.
	Put case on summers day without wind to be,
	And ragious wind in winter days two or three:
640	Much more shall dry that one calm day in summer
	Then shall those three windy days in winter.
	Whom shall we thank for this when all is done?
	The thank to wind? Nay, thank chiefly the sun.
	And so for drought: if corn thereby increase,
645	The sun doth comfort and ripe all, doubtless.
	And oft the wind so layeth the corn, God wot,
	That never after can it ripe, but rot.
	If drought took place as ye say, yet may ye see
	Little helpeth the wind in this commodity.
650	But now, sir, I deny your principal:
	If drought ever were, it were impossible
	To have any grain, for, or it can grow
	Ye must plough your land, harrow, and sow.
	Which will not be, except ye may have rain
655	To temper the ground, and after again
	For springing and plumping all manner corn.
	Yet must ye have water or all is forlorn.
	If ye take water for no commodity
	Yet must ye take it for thing of necessity;
660	For washing, for scouring, all filth cleansing;
	Where water lacketh, what beastly being!
	In brewing, in baking, in dressing of meat,
	If ye lack water what could ye drink or eat?
	Without water could live neither man nor beast,
665	For water preserveth both most and least.
	Saving as now the time will not serve so.
	And, as for that wind that you do sue for,
	Is good for your windmill and for no more.
670	Sir, sith all this in experience is tried,
	I say this matter standeth clear on my side.

	Wind Miller
	Well, since this will not serve, I will allege the rest.
	Sir, for our mills, I say mine is the best.
	My windmill shall grind more corn in one hour
675	Than thy water mill shall in three or four:
	Yea, more then thine should in a whole year,
	If thou mightest have as thou hast wished here.
	For thou desirest to have excess of rain,
	Which thing to thee were the worst thou couldst obtain,
680	For, if thou diddest, it were a plain induction
	To make thine own desire thine own destruction.
	For in excess of rain, at any flood
	Your mills must stand still; they can do no good.
	And when the wind doth blow the uttermost,
685	Our windmills work amain in every cost.
	For, as we see the wind in his estate,
	We moder our sails after the same rate.
	Since our mills grind so far faster than yours,
	And also they may grind all times and hours,
690	I say we need no water mills at all,
	For windmills be sufficient to serve all.

	Water Miller
	Thou speakest of all and considerest not half.
	In boast of thy grist thou art wise as a calf!
	For, though above us your mills grind far faster,
695	What help to those from whom ye be much farther?
	And of two sorts, if the one should be conserved,
	I think it mete the most number be served.
	In vales and wealds where most commodity is,
	There is most people: ye must grant me this.
700	On hills and downs, which parts are most barren
	There must be few, it can no more sustain.
	I dare well say, if it were tried even now,
	That there is ten of us to one of you.
	And where would chiefly all necessaries be,
705	But there as people are most in plenty?
	More reason that you come seven mile to mill,
	Then all we of the vale should climb the hill.
	If rain came reasonable, as I require it,
	We should of your windmills have need no whit.

	Entreth Merry Report.

	Merry Report
710	Stop, foolish knaves! For your reasoning is such,
	That ye have reasoned even enough and too much.
	I heard all the words that ye both have had;
	[To the audience] So help me God, the knaves be more then mad!
	Nuther of them both that hath wit nor grace,
715	To perceive that both mills may serve in place.
	Between water and wind there is no such let,
	But each mill may have time to use his fet.
	Which thing I can tell by experience.
	For I have, of mine own, not far from hence,
720	In a corner together, a couple of mills
	Standing in a marsh between two hills,
	Not of inheritance, but by my wife.
	She is feofed in the tail for terms of her life,
	The one for wind, the other for water,
725	And of them both, I thank god, there standeth nuther,
	For, in a good hour be it spoken,
	The water gate is no sooner open
	But ‘Clap!’, saith the windmill, even straight behind.
	There is good speed, the Devil and all they grind.
730	But whether that the hopper be dusty,
	Or that the millstones be somewhat rusty,
	By the mass, the meal is mischievous musty!
	And if ye think my tale be not trusty,
	I make ye true promise; come when ye list,
735	We shall find mean ye shall taste of the grist!

	Water Miller
	The corn at receipt, haply, is not good.

	Merry Report
	There can be no sweeter, by the sweet Rood.
	Another thing yet, which shall not be cloaked,
	My water mill many times is choked.

	Water Miller
740	So will she be, though ye should burst your bones,
	Except ye be perfect in setting your stones.
	Fear not the ledger, beware your runner.
	Yet this for the ledger or he have won her:
	Perchance your ledger doth lack good pecking.

	Merry Report
745	So saith my wife, and that maketh all our checking.
	She would have the mill pecked, pecked, pecked every day,
	But, by God, millers must peck when they may.
	So oft have we pecked that our stones wax right thin,
	And all our other gear not worth a pin.
750	For with pecking and pecking I have so wrought,
	That I have pecked a good pecking iron to nought.
	How be it if I stick no better till her,
	My wife saith she will have a new miller.
	But let this pass, and now to our matter.
755	I say my mills lack nuther wind nor water;
	No more do yours as far as need doth require.
	But, since ye can not agree, I will desire
	Jupiter to set you both in such rest
	As to your wealth and his honour may stand best.

	Water Miller
760	I pray you heartily, remember me.

	Wind Miller
	Let not me be forgotten, I beseech ye.

	Both millers go forth.

	Merry Report
	If I remember you not both alike,
	I would ye were over the ears in the dyke!

The Millers scene is a comedic focal point of The Play of the Weather. It begins with The Watermiller entering the space and lamenting the weather conditions which have affected his production of grain. The Windmiller then comes on-stage with a similar complaint but - as both of their appeals are mutually exclusive - Merry Report challenges them to a debate and says that the most persuasive speaker will be deemed the winner. However, this debate proves so lengthy that Merry Report ultimately has to intervene to stop their argument. The comic highlight of the scene is a section of dialogue in which The Millers talk at cross-purposes with Merry Report. While they think he is explaining an actual problem he is experiencing with his mill, he is in fact making a series of extremely rude puns about his wife's insatiable sexual appetite.

Key Research Topic

Audience
	Our treatment of the audience during the production comes under the spotlight; specifically the attempt to add formality to their experience by dividing them along lines of gender, as well as the dissolution of the performer/spectator boundary during The Millers’ debate.

Historical Context

The Miller from the General Prologue to The Canterbury Tales
	The description of The Miller from The Canterbury Tales, connecting Chaucer's parodic representation of social types to the estate satire of Heywood.
Widow Edith
	A witty misogynistic piece reflecting a tension found in a number of early Tudor representations of strong females. as well as a celebration of female resourcefulness and wit.

Resources

View film stills from Scene 6

View photos of Ed Woodall as the Watermiller

View photos of Peter Kenny as The Windmiller

Scene 6 - The Millers

Key Research Topic

Audience

Historical Context

The Miller from the General Prologue to The Canterbury Tales

Widow Edith

Resources